i don’t know when love became elusive
what i know, is that no one i know has it
my fathers arms around my mothers neck
fruit too ripe to eat, a door half way open
when your name is a just a hand
i can never hold
everything i have ever believed in,
i think of lovers as trees, growing to and
from one another searching for the same light,
my mothers laughter in a dark room,
a photograph greying under my touch,
this is all i know how to do,
carry loss around until
i begin to resemble every bad memory,
every terrible fear,
every nightmare anyone has ever had.
i ask did you ever love me?
you say of course,
of course so quickly
that you sound like someone else
i ask are you made of steel?
are you made of iron?
you cry on the phone, my stomach hurts
i let you leave, i need someone who knows
how to stay.